... *drum roll* ...

This is the official announcement for one of the most mind-numbingly boring posts you will ever read.

It will be posted here soon – later today –, so here are a few tips for your preparation:

1. Make sure you've got some sugar, and a serious amount of caffeine in your blood stream, or you'll never make it
2. As it may send you into a coma or three, please get permission from your local doctor first.
3. Arrange for somebody to be with you as you read it (they could even engage in intercessory-warfare-prayer for you during the ordeal).
4. Make sure there are no nooses, razor-blades or high balconies to hand, as I am predicting that about half way through, in desperation you just might want to use them.
5. Colour you room up - big bold luminous colours. Get rid of anything grey as that simply won't help.
6. Of course, don't read it while operating any dangerous machinery, waiting for a date, before an interview or anything else important.
7. And if you actually find it interesting (as in some kind of sick way I apparently do), then arrange to get some professional counselling/exorcism, or go to suggestion 4) and reverse the advice.

Remember, the goal is to finish the text and make some helpful comments, so be prepared.